I’ve given up battling my insomnia and decided to do something productive. So, I’ve decided to move my blog to: http://www.fishbabyblog.com. Woohoo!

He’s been spoiling me (or the baby – I’m not sure which) with every single craving that I’ve had. I don’t know how he keeps up. It started off with beef noodles, then went to his mom’s potatoes, chocolate cake, KFC, turnip cake – and now he is out buying a head of lettuce so he can make me a salad. I think he wins the Pregnant-Woman’s-Husband-of-the-Year-Award.

I am 6 weeks & 3 days pregnant today and this baby is kicking my ass. In general, I feel sick all day long with waves of nausea and fatigue. Yesterday, I worked 10+ hours (on my feet, carrying at least 10-15 lbs of equipment). How I did that I have no idea – must’ve been mind over matter. I’m not complaining though – I’d rather have all of the symptoms than none.

Today, we delivered flowers to my husband’s mom with a note that said, “Hope you have room in your hearts for one more grandchild.” She called us immediately and congratulated us – which was a wonderful feeling for me. MY mom gets the news on Tuesday. We’ll see what happens.

My appointment was originally at 4:45 p.m. today. At 9:45 a.m., just as I was about to exit the freeway to go to work, I received a phone call from a blocked number. I just KNEW it was my doctor’s office so I fumbled desperately for my headpiece and picked up. It turned out they wanted to see me right THEN so I switched gears and headed for the Westside. After a frantic coordination with my husband, we both made it there.

The ultrasound was completely thrilling – we both saw the heartbeat flickering right away, along with a gestational sac and a yolk sac! My doctor refuses to give me a photo of the ultrasound until 8 weeks because he’s superstitious – that’s fine, I need all the luck and help I can get.

My ultrasound is scheduled for today? And so as to torture myself, I decided to start reading about women who had miscarriages late in their pregnancy.

I am determined to come back today with good news.

My ultrasound was postponed until tomorrow because my doctor had to deliver some stupid baby! Booooooooo!!!

My ultrasound is tomorrow and I feel a mixture of anxiety and excitement. I’ve already gotten way ahead of myself – thinking about creative ways to tell my family that I’m pregnant – thinking of how I would be as a mother.

I was raised by my grandmother ~ and I love her to death and appreciate all that she has done & sacrificed for me – but in all honesty, my childhood with her was pretty dysfunctional. I just hope that I don’t fall into the same pattern.

First and foremost, though, I believe my husband and I need to be more of a unit and frankly, I need to make some improvements. The pregnancy – the fatigue, Prednisone, etc. has made me pretty cranky and I think in order for everthing to work the way I want it to, I need to be a great wife to my husband. I plan to make some improvements ~ let’s see how it all pans out.

As for telling my family, I am completely torn. I definitely am not ready for everyone to know ~ but once I tell my mother – everyone will know. I want to include her but it’s so difficult when I feel like I can’t trust her. When exactly I plan to tell her is still up in the air – perhaps I will just KNOW when the timing is right.

I think the spotting has stopped.

The brown spotting started again last night and it doesn’t seem to be tapering off. I’m completely terrified and so nervous about our appointment on Wednesday.

Time for me to let go of the pee sticks (and clean off my desk).